Most Likely to Succeed

Posted by Michelle

When I was a senior in high school, my fellow classmates voted to bestow upon me the title of "Most Likely to Succeed." While I knew that this was simply a gesture, it was nice to be recognized by my peers. I spent the next few years working hard and chasing after my definition of success. I was driven as I completed my college degree in three years and used my fourth year to earn a masters degree. Who could say that I was not successful?

My husband and I finished college, and I began my first career. I worked very hard in my first job. I was appreciated by my employers and well-liked by my co-workers. I spent long hours at the office when required. I did what was needed to get the job done. Within my first six months with the company, my employers were discussing the possibility of management with me. I beamed with pride. After all, wasn't I successful?

Through the course of events in my life, God shook things up and I landed with another employer in a smaller company in a little town. I was very happy in this position. I still worked hard when the need arose, but I enjoyed a more relaxed atmosphere. My employer treated me fairly, and we got along well. After several years, I began to entertain the possibility of a partnership somewhere down the road. The opportunity excited me. Could this be the definition of success?

By this time, my "biological clock", as it were, was beginning to kick in. Mark and I were happily married and settled into our own home. We were comfortable in our church and our community. But as Mark and I contemplated the possibility of having a baby, I worried about my job. I began to throw little trial balloons out to my employer to get his impression and was delighted with his positive response. My employer had two small children at the time and maintained a family-friendly atmosphere at work. Another co-worker had just had her second baby and was working part-time. I entertained the option of doing the same, but could I be a success at both?

I will never forget the day that I held my first precious little baby in my arms. He stole my heart as every other responsibility seemed to pale in comparison with taking care of him. I relished my six weeks of maternity leave and even spent the first four months of his life working part-time, some from home. However, the busy season came, and I returned full-time to work. I found myself, again, working hard to get the job done. But this time was different. My heart wasn't in it. I struggled to focus, and I worried that I was not giving my best to either my employer or my baby. Could I succeed in juggling a baby and a career?

This tension dominated my life for the next two months. Finally, I can remember one late night at work sitting in front of my computer as I began to cry. Every ounce of me screamed out to be with my baby. I was struck with the fact that someone else could do my job at the office just as well as I could, but no one else could ever love my little baby as much as his daddy and me. Somewhere in the struggle, I finally came to peace with the fact that I could not achieve my definition of success with both my career and my baby. I completed my obligation to my employer to finish out the busy season and left my job when my baby was eight months old. I will never forget my first day at home after quitting my job. I can remember sitting in my rocker wondering what I should do next. What was required to be successful in my new career?

I found staying at home with my baby to be rewarding but different. It was not long before Mark and I welcomed another little boy into our family. A few years later, we had a little girl. And a few years after that, God blessed us with a third little boy. There are no offers of management or possibilities of partnership in my new career. I must confess that I have struggled with issues of worth and value as I have wiped noses and bottoms. I have wondered at the unexpected turn my life has taken. Could I still possibly be considered successful?

There have been times when I have questioned God as to why I could not be at peace in my heart with both motherhood and a career. The simple fact is that I could not. So, with a change in career has come a change in my definition of success. I still hold big dreams in my heart for the future, but I am totally committed to my career of motherhood for this priceless season of my life. And thanks to my peers in high school for voting me "Most Likely to Succeed." You were absolutely right!

What is your definition of success?